I just wanted to pop in and share one quick tip for FHE-dominant spouses. What’s that? Well, one spouse usually just heads FHE naturally; I call that spouse the “FHE-dominant spouse”. Often it’s the wife, but not always.
If it’s you, please take a quick tip from me and don’t make the same mistakes I have. When your spouse does the slightest thing to contribute to FHE, whole-heartedly support it! One time, my husband said, “We should roast marshmallows for FHE tonight!” And I was like, “Do you know how long that takes and how late it is? I don’t think we really have time for that.”
What was I thinking? I shut him down, robbed us of a fun FHE activity where Dad was totally excited and involved, and probably subconsciously turned off the spot in his brain where he thinks of FHE ideas he would like to do.
Don’t make that mistake. I’ve done it only once or twice. Now, whatever he thinks, I try to support it because I want him to contribute and have fun during family home evening, too.
Last Monday in the LATE afternoon, my husband drove 30 minutes to town to get root beer because my daughter – who was in charge of the family home evening that night – wanted root beer floats for the object lesson and treat. Now, I could’ve said, “It’s so late to try to do that! Plus, root beer floats are totally unhealthy. Carbonated sodas suck oxygen right out of all our body’s cells – that’s so bad for us. Seriously, let’s just forget the treat. By the time you get home, we won’t have time for a lesson, discussion, or even family dinner. Plus, the kids will get to bed late.”
Instead, I bit my tongue.
I remembered my commitment to be supportive and grateful for everything he contributes to FHE. I kissed him goodbye and enjoyed a delightful evening by myself getting things ready for the next day’s events. I happily greeted him when he got home, expressed my gratitude for his involvement with our family home evening, made a big deal about it to the kids… and then we enjoyed a very short FHE that was all about the root beer float object lesson and treat. 🙂
It was really very lovely. I’m grateful I learned to support my husband in whatever he wants to do for family night, and hope you will support the non-dominant FHE spouse in your marriage, too.
Happy Home Evenings!